Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots: The Underdog

2008-07-17 04:21:34

If you haven't read the previous blog, here's the setup: Garth Stein, author of the bestselling "The Art of Racing in the Rain," is shooting off his fertile imagination, saying he'll blow me into the weeds at the upcoming race on July 27 at Portland International Raceway, in the Playboy Mazda MX-5 Cup series race, in the SCCA pro division. He posted this blog on the excellent site www.coldtrackdays.com.

"In addition to my strict dietary regimen and exhaustive exercise routine, I am doing a great deal of meditating and visualization. The mental aspect of the race is the most important element, and that's where I have an advantage. Oh, I know Sam is clever and quick-witted, and he is especially good at Sodoku. But his mind is, by nature, trapped in the reality of the world around us, whereas I can envision myself not simply beating Sam, but winning the race outright. If I concentrate hard enough, I can make it happen! I know it is possible.

"I also have an advantage in that I've raced Mazda Miatas before, whereas Sam has only driven some crazy stock car up some pyramid in New Guinea or something. (Like that's supposed to impress anyone! Cannibals? Oooh! I'm scared!) The important element of driving a car like a Spec Miata or an MX-5 Cup car is momentum, and clearly I have all the momentum. I mean my book is on The New York Times bestseller list, it's the Starbucks pick, it was the June #1 Booksense pick, and it's been #1 in Taiwan for the past five weeks.... These things add to my momentum--and the momentum of my car!

"Finally, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sam, friend, save yourself the embarrassment of being beaten by a fiction writer. Take the weekend and go climb Mount Hood. It's very nearby, and it's quite beautiful this time of year. Stick to mountain climbing, Sam. Leave the car racing to me."

Ha. Garth imagines himself in Victory Circle.

And so I posted my own trash-talkin' tongue-in-cheek reply, to www.coldtrackdays.com.

"Garth is a one-point-two-million-dollar man; that’s how much his publisher paid for his dog Enzo’s book. I’m a starving artist, cashing in my IRA to fix and I hope some day race (again) my 600-horsepower, 25-year-old historic stock car, the Bandit Oldsmobile, made famous by my book, “Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots,” one of the five best books ever written about motorsports, according to the great Brock Yates who is known for his wisdom. There are no royalty checks coming in from “At All Costs: How a Crippled Ship and Two American Merchant Mariners Turned the Tide of World War II,” an astonishing feat of journalism, according to Ken Auletta, the best journalist in the land. It’s too soon to sell my next book, “It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This: The True Life Adventures of Senor Madre and the AngloArabAsian Brothers,” because I’ve only written the first five chapters, and haven’t even sent them to my agent yet.

"If hunger counts for anything on the track, and of course it does, Garth is in trouble.

"Without a doubt, Garth can outswag me. He's already been plying Mazda executives with GoEnzo.com hats. I pay for the few paltry tee-shirts I give away out of grocery money, and I have two growing boys to feed. It hurts me to see their forlorn hungry faces across the table. Garth’s PR team is like Penske Racing, including a dog specialist named Ami, and I’ll bet she’s just totally chipper! He’s got fawning fans--anyone who loves dogs will love Garth. I’ve got me and my girlfriend Khia who has a day job at Pape Machinery in Portland. He’s got the giant New York publisher, Harper. My University of Nebraska Press is small, although it’s a wonderful and prestigious publisher specializing in Native American literature and classic memoirs like “Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots.”

"Don’t get me wrong. Garth is my bookselling hero. Anybody who can get $1.2 million out of a publisher is my hero. Wait, no, maybe it's his agent who's my hero.

"So I’ve got to be the underdog on this bus, forget about my alleged racing experience, long ago. I think his dog Enzo would be rooting (woofing?) for me, if he were still around.

"Well, I did rent a ride in a shreiking BMW Z3 MCoupe, last summer. The RTG Motorsports car had “Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots” on its long sleek silver hood, in bright red. I finished fifth overall in a field of 40 cars in an SCCA race, running up front with the Porsche Turbos and one rocket-fast Camaro with tons of money in it—and I was fourth until the gearbox overheated. One of the Porsche Turbo drivers came up to me afterward and said, “Man, you drive the wheels off that thing.”

If I drive as well as I can, I’ll be satisfied. If Garth can beat me at my best, when I’m driving the wheels off my Team MER #2 Mazda MX-5, my GoEnzo.com hat that he hasn’t given me yet will be off to him.

PHOTOS BY DOUG BERGER

Sam Moses

Previous Blogs:

Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots Big Story!

2008-07-15 13:57:08

FACT VS FICTION ON THE RACE TRACK - It will be Novelist vs Motorsports Writer at the Portland Mazda MX-5 Cup Race - July 14, 2008 (Irvine, Calif.) – The...

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Running 190

2007-10-20 13:32:43

I first drove the RTG Motorsports BMW MCoupe for 20 minutes one hot day last summer, at Pacific Raceways. It was about the sweetest racecar I’ve ever driven—there have been a few faster and some sexier, but none so sweet. It felt born...

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First and Last Time as an Idiot

2007-10-10 12:50:41

University of Nebraska Press Blog October 1, 2007 Once, when I was doing a book signing for the original “Fast Guys, Rich Guys and Idiots” some 20 years ago, a young woman asked me if the book was about her...

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Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots Take Off

2007-09-10 12:01:19

Getting a head start on the September 7 paperback publication of his classic racing memoir, Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots, Sam Moses raced to 5th overall in a field of 40 powerful sports cars at the SCCA regional event at...

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University of Nebraska Press Releases Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots

2007-09-07 11:54:42

Fast Guys, Rich Guys, and Idiots A Racing Odyssey on the Border of Obsession By Sam Moses With a new introduction by the author Sam Moses, a motorsports writer for Sports Illustrated, was assigned to...

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